DBA WTF

I have had some very frustrating dealings with server infrastructure people, and I'm pretty sure that my blood pressure has skyrocketed lately. Today was no exception. Today, I sent an e-mail to our dev DBA to find out the size of our DB log files to figure out how much space to allocate for production. Here's more or less how it went:

Attempt #1
Me: What's the size of the log files for DB instance ABC?
Reply: The log files are fine.

Attempt #2
Me: Yes, but how big are they?
Reply: Unlimited, as long as you have enough disk space

Attempt #3
Me: Yes, but I need to know their current size.
Reply: What database?

Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!

PS: I did finally find out the size, but not before I nearly pulled out my hair over this. These things shouldn't be so hard...

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

I cringed when I heard that the Republicans (namely Tea Party nutbags) took control of the House in the US Mid-Term elections this part Tuesday. Mind you, it wasn't terribly surprising. Most Americans are dissatisfied with the job that Obama was doing to remedy the US' economic woes. Many Americans are against government intervention on things like healthcare and bailouts. Many Americans back the Tea Party because the Tea Party promises a return to the US' constitutional roots. You know, the whole "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" bit. That's all well and good, but let's consider a few points here.

Socialism is Not a Four-Letter Word
Americans are scared to death of Socialism. I'm pretty sure that they're more scared of Socialism than they are of Satan. Seriously. Must be some sort of Cold War PTSD or something. And the fact that they think that Communism = Socialism. News flash: they are not the same.

So, armed with the fact that Americans believe that Socialism is bad, they view stuff like healthcare reform to be a bad thing. Of course. That mean 'ole government meddling in your affairs telling you how to go about your healthcare. Shame on them. Newsflash: the government is actually trying to help you by improving your quality of life so that those douchebag health insurance companies don't try to screw you in every way imaginable. Oh, wait...you view that as a bad thing? Well, excuse me. I thought that was a good thing.

The Economy
Back in the '90s, Bill Clinton famously said, "It's the economy, stupid", during this 1992 presidential election campaign. Well, it's still the economy, isn't it? Now, more than ever, especially with this recession that's been hanging around like a stubborn wart. And why not? I saw a segment on Sixty Minutes a couple of weeks ago that talked about university-educated people in Silicon Valley who had been laid off from their jobs for 2 or more years, and were having a hell of a time finding a job in their field. Wasn't the whole point of going to university being that it guarantee that we got and kept good jobs? It's pretty scary, when you think about it.

Intersection
It occurred to me yesterday that the Tea Party supporters who are so desperately want to return to their country's roots are missing something. The problem is not with the government actually caring enough to reform healthcare, or for bailing out banks and the auto sector (not that I agree with the latter, but for other reasons), or for trying to stimulate the economy. The real problem is with the free-market capitalists. And guess what? Republicans loooooooooove free-market capitalism.

(Aside: I highly recommend that you read Naomi Klein's book, Shock Doctrine. It details how this whole "laissez-faire" approach to economics - i.e. free-market economics - has done nothing but hurt the common person (i.e. the vast majority), and fill the pockets of the rich with more money (a teeny minority). It's very insightful and while I read it, it made me downright angry. I wanted to hurl the book at a few politicians.)

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. As far as I'm concerned, free-market capitalism is to blame for all this crap that we're experiencing around outsourcing/exporting jobs to countries with lower rates. Readers of this blog know that it is no secret that I despise outsourcing and that I don't believe that it works (quality being the #1 issue). Not to mention the fact that it a) turns IT jobs into a commodity (which they aren't) and b) takes jobs away from people. Tell me: if most IT jobs are being outsourced to the likes of India, and most manufacturing are being exported to Mexico, China, India, and its cheap labor cousin countries around the world, how does one expect the jobless rate to actually go down? It's not like there will be any jobs left for the middle-class folks. IT. MAKES. NO. SENSE.

So, my dear neighbors from the south, to think that your president can turn a crappy economic situation (which is being manipulated by Big Business and their buddies the Lobbyists) around in 18 months, you have got to be joking. Really? Poor guy! He inherited a sh!t pile. Quit blaming him for wanting to improve your quality of life with healthcare reform and quit blaming him for not being able to wave a magic wand to make things better. And most importantly, read the goddamned news for a change an inform yourselves. By ignorantly listening to the nonsensical crap of the Tea Party morons/psychos, you are flushing your country down the toilet. I hope you don't mind the smell of sewage.

Democracy Prevails, I Guess

I'm all for democracy and all, but I really have to question the mental sanity of the voting public sometimes. Last night, Toronto elected Rob Ford, who as far as I can tell is a right-wing nut job hell bent on destroying the city. His election message was clear: stop unnecessary spending. So to do that he talked about doing things like cutting the number of city councilors in half and eliminating certain city taxes.

Before I delve a bit further, let's get some things straight. I'm not a fan of paying taxes any more than the next guy is. And I am certainly not a fan of paying taxes when I don't know where my tax money is being applied. The latter is obviously a big issue in politics, and the public is certainly tired of misspent tax dollars on useless state trips (hello, Governor General...what exactly do you do?). At the same time, people have to realize that in order to have certain social services, like say, healthcare, public schools, community centers, libraries, garbage pickup, police, and fire fighters, we need to pay taxes. That's just the harsh reality of it. These services don't come free. The people working in these areas don't work for free. These are their jobs. They make actual money for a living to be able to do things like eat and live in some type of housing.

So back to Rob Ford. First of all, people voted for him because they wanted change - the "anything but what we've got right now" mentality. That's all well and good if he happens to be better than what we had with David Miller. Sure, people were pissed over the garbage strike. I was too. But my dear voting public, please, for the love of god, why don't you seek to better understand a candidate's platform rather than just voting for the exact opposite of what you have in office now? That type of move is impulsive and uninformed, and will ultimately screw you over in the end.

Take the Harper government, for example. His government was voted in because people were pissed at the Liberals for the sponsorship scandal. Hey, don't get me wrong - I wasn't too pleased about the sponsorship scandal either. But folks, look who you voted in? A tar-sands-loving, UN-hating, environment-hating, controlling, big-business-loving nutjob. You didn't punish the Liberals. You punished the country! And twice, for that matter, because you seem to think that the Harper government was doing an okay enough job to elect them to a second minority government. Honestly people. Honestly...

And while we're on that topic, let's take a look at our neighbors down south. This Tea Party movement is just baffling me. I mean, basically all of the hillbillies in the US (which apparently is most of the population) have rallied together around these guys, because they're not happy with what Obama has been doing on the economy. (The funny part is that they're pissed at the traditional Republicans too, but that's actually kind of scary because these guys make the Republicans look normal.) Newsflash here: it took the Bush White House 8 years to destroy the American Economy. Do you honestly think that Obama and his cronies are going to be able to fix it in 2 years? Seriously? Where did you learn math, anyway? Unfortunately, people are unemployed, some homeless, and barely able to get by. When that happens, they'll grab onto the first thing that gives them hope, even if it's the wrong thing.

My point is, people these days seem to be voting on anger, hatred, desperation, and plain impulse. They are not stopping to think about what the candidates are really about. They hear a few key words that are music to their ears and they're hooked, without actually being properly informed. And then they vote for people hell bent on screwing over the general public. And the people who didn't vote are just as bad too. You had a chance to voice your opinion, but you chose not to, and therefore you put the fate of your city in a small percentage of the population. Shame on you.

But alas, democracy has prevailed in the end, hasn't it? After all, people did vote for Ford out of their own free will. I am worried about the next four years. I am worried for our public transit. I am worried for our city services. I don't trust this guy at all. At the same time, what can I do when the people have spoken?

The Fax Machine

I had to send a fax last week. It should have been a two-minute process, but instead it took me 20 minutes. I hate fax machines. I don't know how to use them, and I don't want to know how to use them. I really wish that they would just go away. But they won't. They refuse to.

Sure, they were neat and new in the '80s. (Aside: just watch someone will post a "Well, actually, they were invented in the 1960s, so neener neener, get your facts straight, blah blah blah." comment. Well, S.U.C.K. I.T.) But now? Now they're just annoying. Here are some of my fax pet peeves:

1. Orientation.
I never know if I'm supposed to put the document in face-up or face-down. No matter what, I'll always screw it up.

2. Dialing
This should be simple, but some fax machines are set up so that you have to dial 9 to get out. Some are not. Some require you to dial 8 to dial a long-distance number. Some do not. On the odd occasion, the dialing instructions are posted on the machine so that I actually know what to do, but then I screw up the number and don't know how to clear the number from the selection. Arrrrrrrgh!!!

3. Confirmation
The fax machine at my workplace doesn't print a confirmation page. My manager said that there's a way to do so, but I think you need a PhD to figure out how to do that. So all I can take comfort in is that if it makes that crackling modem-y sound, I'm about 80% sure that it went through. Still even when a confirmation page is printed, I'm still not confident that it actually went through. So I make sure that the recipient confirms that he/she actually got my fax.

4. Cover Page
If I'm sending a fax over to someone I don't know (e.g. insurance agent), then I have to include a fax cover page. I never know how to set these things up. I usually just print the one out from one of the Microsoft Word templates. But the template doesn't come pre-loaded in Word at work, so I have to hunt around the Microsoft site for the template. (Aside: I have no idea as to why I keep having to re-download that template to MS Word.) As I fill out the template, I never know if I'm filling it out right. I pray (in the atheist figurative sense) that I haven't committed some fax faux-pas by filling out the fax cover sheet incorrectly. I often picture the fax recipient laughing at my fax, because I ended up doing something wrong.

Fax machine, oh fax machine, you are, unfortunately, a necessary E.V.I.L. I hate you with all my heart, and I wish you'd go away, but what did I do a couple of years ago? I bought an all-in-one printer with a fax. Because you know what? I still fax things on occasion, and I have found out that hard way that when you can't fax something from your workplace, it's nice to have to send those pesky faxes from home on a weekend, rather than have to hunt around for one at Kinko's or Business Depot on a weekend. Nice, but sucky at the same time.

Not-So-Private Privacy

This morning on CBC's Metro Morning, I heard a story (MP3 of the podcast) about how there was a privacy breach within the University Health Network (UHN) here in Toronto. Basically a USB flash drive was stolen from an employee's purse, containing the health records of about 700 patients. The host of Metro Morning had the Ontario Privacy Commissioner on the show, to comment on the incident, and a few things struck me as really really bad:

1. The Ontario Privacy Commissioner only heard about this privacy breach because Metro Morning contacted her to talk about the story.

I have one word for that: OUCH. Her office is clearly not doing its job properly if she has to find out about this breach from a freaking media outlet. Also, the UHN is being irresponsible by not reporting this to the Privacy Commissioner. I hope that both UHN officials and the Privacy Commissioner's office are seriously reprimanded for this.

2. At the beginning of the show, Matt Galloway, the host of Metro Morning, played a clip from the Privacy Commissioner talking on the show after a privacy breach last year, saying how they put tougher measures in place to prevent such things from happening.

HA! I guess you hired the wrong consulting company to fix that problem for you.

3. After losing face from items 1 and 2, she started talking about how people must be more careful when they put data on USB drives and how they must be sure to encrypt their data when placing data on said USB drives.

While I agree that people should be careful when putting data on USB drives, let's face it. Some people are idiots and don't think when they put data on a flash drive. We basically need an idiot-proof system here. I work at the type of place where losing critical data has very dire consequences. As a result, our IT staff have put measures in place to ensure that data are automatically encrypted on a USB flash drive in case some dumb-ass decides to put sensitive data on a USB flash drive. So clearly there are very effective ways to prevent such privacy breaches. Which makes me wonder who the hell was put in charge of security. That person should be fired for suggesting a crappy solution.

Forty Days of Bitching

Another Easter has come and gone, and with it, marks the end of Lent. In case you need a refresher, Lent is a 40-day period in Catholic tradition that begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Easter Sunday. Many devout Catholics will give stuff up for Lent. I thought it was because of the whole story of Jesus being in the desert for 40 days, being tempted by Satan, but according to this Wikipedia article, it seems that I was wrong. Either that or I skimmed the article and did a crappy job of reading it (sorry). At any rate, the types of things that people give up for Lent include (but are obviously not limited to) chocolate, sex, coffee, and drinking. I even know of a friend of Facebook who gave up using her Blackberry for Lent. Uh, whatever.

Well, thank goodness that Lent is over, because I am sick and tired of people on Facebook talking about what they gave up for Lent and how hard it was for them. Boo frickity hoo. Nobody forced you to give anything up; you did it out of your own free will. So please, spare me the bitching and moaning about how you can't live without coffee and how you won't make it to 40 days. If you can't live without coffee, then drink some, for the love of god, but stop complaining!!!

Actually, my beef isn't really with Lent per se. My beef is with religious tradition in general (ANY religious tradition). When we are born, most of us take up the religious faith of our parents. I was born into a Roman Catholic family, and therefore I was raised as a Catholic, having been baptized and had my first communion per the traditions of the Catholic faith. Catholicism, compared to Protestantism, for example, is VERY VERY focused on tradition. Devout Catholics, for example, will not eat meat on Fridays. Catholic mass is huge on tradition (I'm not sure that tradition is the right word here, but I can't think of a better one right now). My husband, a Protestant, attended Christmas Midnight Mass with me once (I was dragged), and was quite surprised by how we had to stand up, sit down, and kneel at various points throughout the mass. And then there are the various things that are recited. I've been to mass a number of times in my youth, and I still don't know all the stuff that's recited. But I think that even the people who DO know what's being recited are just saying the words. I'll go out on a limb and say that I think this applies to 90% of Catholic churchgoers. I say that because in the recent times that I attended (ahem...was dragged to) mass, most of the people looked totally unenthused about what they were saying. It was just pure regurgitation.

So back to my original point. We are born into our parents' faiths. We are immersed in their religion. We are often (though not always) taught to accept their faith and its accompanying traditions as the only way of doing things. Questioning the faith is not really encouraged, even though are parents and/or teachers/schools/workplaces can make us aware we are made aware of other faiths. After all, most of us don't live in isolated communities and will at some point be exposed to other religions. Hell, I even took world religions in my Catholic high school (I was already an atheist by then).

And questioning faith doesn't necessarily have to be all about questioning the existence of god or Jesus or any of that stuff. It can even include questioning traditions. What does it mean to follow the rules of Kosher, or to eat Halal meat, or to eat fish on Fridays? What does it mean for women to cover their hair with a wig in the traditional Jewish faith or with a scarf in Muslim faith? If god is supposed to be this benevolent, omniscient, omnipresent being who created humans in his (or her) image, then what will it matter what food we eat or what we wear? (Okay, I'm not saying to skank it up here.) I don't think god will love you any more or any less for it. And if such a god did judge us that way, then I think we have bigger problems on our hands.

When Things Get Dumber

Just when you thought that things couldn't get any dumber, THIS comes up.

In a nutshell, this article talks about a "...proposed Utah law that would open women who suffer a miscarriage to possible criminal prosecution and life imprisonment has enraged feminists and civil rights activists across the United States." This proposal came about because some dumb-assed pregnant 17-year-old girl in Utah paid a fellow idiot $150 to physically assault her when she was 7 months pregnant because she wanted a miscarriage. The kid, by the way, was born, and was later put up for adoption. Thank goodness. Can you imagine having that 17-year-old girl for a mother? WTF? Anyway, the paid assailant was imprisoned, but the "mother" was not, because there was technically no law that could punish her for her heinous act.

So after that, some dumb-assed conservative nutbag thought it was a good idea to propose a law whereby a woman's "reckless" (slipping on the ice and falling? allowing yourself to get beaten up by your abusive spouse?) behavior leading to miscarriage could lead to criminal prosecution. WOW. As if women don't have a hard enough time dealing with miscarriages, without having to worry about whether or not they'll face criminal prosecution because they miscarried. So the Americans are the first ones to complain about how countries following Muslim law such as Syria and Iran have no respect for womens' rights. Look no further than your own backyard, my friends.

Glad I'm Not the Only One...

As luck would have it, someone on my Facebook friends list posted this link up today: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/facebook_suck. What a coincidence that it would come in the heels of yesterday's Facebook rant!

The Novelty Wears Off

I've been on Facebook since the summer of 2007. Before then, I resisted joining because it seemed like just another one of those things to which one becomes addicted, on top of the already-addictive instant-messaging, and gaming, to name a few. (For the record, I am NOT and never will be a gamer.) But my 10-year high school reunion was coming up, and I wanted to know what had happened to my graduating class, 99% of whom I hadn't seen or spoken to since graduating. So I caved and joined. To my dismay, it turned out that my high school reunion ended up being organized on Facebook, and by the time I joined, I had missed the reunion by about 5 days. Phooey.

Still, I was able to add a bunch of people from high school onto my friends list and even managed to reconnect with some of them (i.e. exchange the occasional message). It was fun to see what had happened to everyone, and shocking to realize that like me, many were married, and some even had kids already. It was shocking because up until Facebook came along, I still remembered all of these people as they were when they were 18 or 19. Now, these people were in their last 20s, some looking older, some looking fatter, and some looking balder. For others, it seemed like time had stopped.

Facebook was a total savior when I was on maternity leave. I couldn't log onto my computer at home too often, but I did have Facebook installed on my Blackberry, and I checked it often to keep in touch with the outside world so that I didn't die of boredom. My moms' group was also on Facebook, and all meeting invites were sent from there, so it was a great way to stay in touch.

But now, 3 years into using Facebook, the novelty is wearing off. I'm sick of getting invitations for Farkle, FarmVille, MobWars, Mafia Wars, Circle of Moms, and whatever other stupid annoying Facebook app is out there, taking my personal information without my permission. Which is why I don't have any Facebook apps. I'm sick of reading some peoples' status updates, because it's the same old, same old.

Some people, it seems, post status updates every hour, telling people what they ate, where they're going, why they're still awake, why they're going to sleep. Then you get the people who post status updates about how happy they are. Great that you're happy, but if you're going out of your way to say that you're happy, are you REALLY that happy, or are you just putting up a front? And finally, there are people who post stuff about how crappy their lives are. Dude, I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch, but you don't have to tell the whole freaking world about it. My biggest status update pet peeve, however, is when you get some annoying person who posts a status update that begins or ends with "paste this into your status". And I won't even go into the annoying bra color thing from a few weeks ago.

And you know what? I'm guilty of it too. When I was on mat-leave, 90% of my status updates were about my kid. I'd even post status updates about my kid's poohs, for crying out loud. I sometimes go through my day thinking, "Hey, this would be a hilarious status update." I went through a few rough patches where I posted grumpy updates. I'll bet you that people who read those status updates just kind of rolled their eyes and went on to the next status update. I sometimes even post multiple status updates in a day too. But you know what? I'm running out of witty things to say, and quite frankly, I'll bet that most people don't even care, just as I don't really care about what other people post in their status.

People who join a bunch of groups on Facebook also annoy me. For example, there's a group about people against the prorogation of the Canadian parliament. I am 100% completely against the prorogation as well, but I didn't join the group. What's the point? Nothing ever seems to come out of them anyway. And yes, it sounds defeatist and passive, but my point is that most people who join these groups want to state their position, but they don't really want to do anything about it. If you really care, join a real cause and do some real work for that cause. Don't join a group on Facebook just to act like you care. To be fair, there are people who join these Facebook groups and who are actively involved in their causes. Hats off to them. It's the rest of the posers that piss me off.

Oh, Facebook...you and I have such a love-hate relationship. You allow me to check out people who I haven't seen or spoken to in ages, and yet, many resident Facebookies annoy the crap out of me. And yet, I log on every day to see what's going on, just to see what those people whose status updates annoy me so much have to say. And for me to roll my eyes when I read said updates. Will I ever leave Facebook? Who knows. What I do know is that it will continue to annoy me as long as I log on.

The O-Word

Information Technology in North America is going to the dogs. Once upon a time, getting a computer science or computer engineering degree actually meant something. Then everyone and their brother thought they could be a software developer by taking some course at some crappy community college. And then it got worse. Some companies (like one of my former employers) believed that they could train any person with half a brain to do development. All of a sudden, we had people who had NO BUSINESS writing code, let alone touching a computer become developers. "Don't worry," they were told. "It just a stepping-stone." What the hell?

I have an engineering degree. I have spent my entire career in IT, including all of my summers as a university student. I've seen good code at work. I've seen bad code cause near catastrophes. I've seen my fair share of mismanaged IT projects (99% of them). So forgive me for thinking that treating development as a "stepping stone" is absolutely absurd. Development is a craft. Good code is like composing a great symphony or painting a masterpiece. When done properly, it can be elegant, efficient, and maintainable.

Unfortunately, the corporate higher-ups think of development as a commodity. Several years ago, in my consulting days, I remember a client saying that, "Anyone can develop. It's the business analysts who do the REAL work." I really really really wanted to call BS on him. In fact, I'm still kicking myself for not having said anything. Don't get me wrong. Business analysts do important work. They gather requirements and produce functional designs. Their work is the input for our work. But developers take those functional designs and turn it into a deliverable. Whether it's an online bookstore or some batch process that updates inventory at the end of the day. Developers produce the ultimate deliverable. So no matter how good the analysis and requirements phase is, if you don't have a good development team on board, your project is doomed for failure.

And yet, almost every IT project that I've been on seems to be doomed for failure because management sets it up for failure through one or all of the following: understaffing, compressed timelines, and my favorite one of all: outsourcing. Yes, the O-word.

IT outsourcing invaded the North American market in 2002 or 2003, if I recall correctly. I was pretty outraged then. As a young developer, it appeared that my job was being taken away by Indian developers. We were told not to worry. Leave the drudge work to the offshore developers. That way, onshore resources could focus on management skills. Sounded like a recipe for disaster. And it was. And is. And yet, the model continues to flourish.

Offshore resources are stealing our jobs, and not only that, because of the ridiculous time difference, we must also accommodate to their schedule. What the hell is up with that. Why is it that some dude who is stealing work for me is forcing me to be on a conference call at 7am? Just so he doesn't have to be in the office past 7pm? If they work for us, then they should keep our hours.

Anyone who has worked directly with offshore resources will tell you the following:

1. Offshore resources are typically crappy developers. And why is that? Because the jobs are plenty, people are plenty, and their rates are CHEAP. So cheap that it is still worthwhile to hire a bunch of crappy developers, have them develop a crappy system, and then have them fix it over and over until it (sort of) works than hire a good team of onshore resources.

2. Offshore resources are like automatons. I agree that when a technical design reaches the hands of a developer, it should be pretty sound. Newsflash: even great developers can make bad design decisions that aren't caught until someone actually sits down and starts coding. It happens to the best if us. It even happened to me recently. So if you've got some offshore code monkey writing code based on a design that makes no sense and doesn't question it, then you end up stuck with a bad product.

3. Bad offshore development is always covered up. Executives are so gung-ho on making their huge margins on offshore development that they will do almost anything to keep this bad model going. This includes having onshore resources ultimately having to fix the really bad offshore code. And worse yet, management never admits to the client that they had to bring in onshore resources to fix the bad offshore code.

So on the outside, it looks like a successful model because the product gets built and the margins are beefy. As a result, the model that should have gone the way of the dodo is flourishing. And expanding. I've heard from friends that it's not just the development jobs being outsourced. Now, even business analyst and software architecture jobs are being outsourced too. Pretty soon, we'll be left with no IT jobs to speak of. And then what? All I can hope for is that the outsourcing goes so far that even upper-management jobs get outsourced, sending unemployment soaring to new heights, so that IT jobs can finally be returned to where they belong: onshore.

Hands-Free

Today is the first day of Ontario's new cell-phone-use-in-the-car law. The law states that drivers cannot use cell phones or GPSs, and similar devices in the car. First of all, I can't believe that we need a law to dictate such common sense. The fact the people talk, and, even worse, TEXT while they drive is absolutely appalling. The act of driving itself may be a relatively easy thing (for most of us, anyway), but driving in public, with other cars, cyclists, pedestrians, animals (like deer, moose, and squirrels), and roadwork to worry about is an entirely different matter. Driving requires real concentration. Failing to fully concentrate on your driving can lead to accidents; sometimes with tragic consequences.

So you might think that I'd be happy with the new law. But I'm not, and it's for one simple reason. The law doesn't go far enough. The new law basically states that if you're going to use a cell phone while driving, you need to use a hands-free device (e.g. Bluetooth headset), and you can't dial your phone while holding it. You need to mount it or buy some sort of fancy gizmo that dials your phone for you. So basically the moral of the story is that you can still use your cell phone while driving. It's just the way that you use it that's different. Well, here's a newsflash for you: using a hands-free device to talk on your cell phone while driving is just as bad.

I am ashamed to admit that about 7 years ago, I used to talk on my cell phone while driving. I remember one time being on the highway at 100km/h when my cell phone rang. It was on the passenger seat, and I answered it while on a curve. I CRINGE when I think about that time. How dangerous! And that was just the act of answering the phone. Talking on the phone was just as distracting. I didn't give the road the attention that it needed. How completely irresponsible of me! When I got a hands-free set for my cell phone, it was no better. Yes, it was easier to answer the phone, but I was still talking on the phone. I was still distracted, even with both hands on the wheel. When you're on the phone, regardless of whether or not you have a hands-free set, the minute you pick up that phone, you are enthralled in that conversation.

I would like to point out that I did see the light 7 years ago, and I no longer talk on my cell phone while driving. I don't care how urgent the call is. It can wait. I can't tell you how many times I've been on conference calls with people who said that they were dialing in from the road. And I'm pretty sure that they were driving at the same time. The thought of it makes me cringe.

I remember taking a human factors class when I was in university, and I remember the professor saying that studies showed that it made no difference if you spoke on your phone using a hands-free device while driving. He said that talking on the phone while driving versus talking to a person in the passenger seat while driving are entirely different. If you encounter a problem on the road while driving, the person on the passenger seat sees it too, and the conversation stops abruptly so that the driver can deal with the problem. If you're having the same conversation on the cell phone, the person on the other end has no idea what's happening on the road, and oftentimes, the driver is too uncomfortable to tell the person on the other line to hold on for a second while he or she deals with the driving problem at hand.

While the stuff that my professor said makes perfect sense, I don't think it's JUST that. Talking is distracting. Even talking to a person on the passenger seat. It's too easy to get sucked into an interesting conversation and to pay less attention to the road. Hell, even the radio can be distracting if you listen to a good radio show (like the stuff on CBC Radio One). I suppose that in the greater scheme of things, however, talking on the cell phone while driving is still way more distracting.

So in the end, this new law seems like a half-assed attempt to solve a very serious problem. I guess the one good thing is that it at least stops the half-wits who text and drive at the same time. That is, until some company comes up with a big shiny panel that you can attach to your dashboard that interfaces with your phone and lets you check e-mails and send texts. And I'm pretty sure that that already exists...

I Hate You, OpenOffice!

About a month or so ago, I finally took the plunge and finished converting the last of my Windows machines to an Ubuntu Linux machine (it's running the latest version, 9.04 - I can't remember its animal name). As part of my Linux migration strategy, I made it a point of having a Windows XP virtual machine set up. After all, Linux is great for some stuff, but let's face it - it's still a Windows world. The BlackBerry sync application and iTunes, for example, don't have Linux versions. And yes, there are a couple of iTunes-esque music players out there, but they don't have access to the iTunes Store, so THERE. And although there is a Linux-based version of Picasa, it so happens that that version does not allow you to upload videos. The Windows version does. So, Windows VM it is. And for those of you wondering why I chose the VM route as opposed to dual-boot, it's simple: I want to be able to easily switch between Windows and Linux and access files between the two.

My VM app of choice was Sun's VirtualBox. VirtualBox was a royal pain in the ass to get set up because of USB support issues (more on that on another post). In the end, with the help of a second pair of eyes, my VM was working as I wanted it. Mission accomplished!

So, back to the original point of this post. Yesterday night, I was working on my annual review self-evaluation form for work. It was due today, and I was procrastinating. The annual review form is in the form of an MS Word document, and is formatted with a bunch of tables. Since OpenOffice supports Word docs, I decided to edit the doc in OpenOffice, rather than fire up the XP VM. The template looked good on OpenOffice. You couldn't even tell that it wasn't MS Word. I was pleased. I finished my write-up in about an hour or so, and sent it out.

Now, I'm paranoid about attachments, and I decided to check the attachment to make sure that I had the right version of the attachment in the e-mail. When I opened the doc, from the e-mail, I discovered, to my absolute HORROR, that the document's formatting was completely screwed up! Some of the tables appeared to have completely disappeared, and the ones that were visible looked messed up. I decided to open up the doc from Nautilus to make sure that it wasn't an e-mail attachment thing. Same problem. I then copied my original template file and opened it in OpenOffice, saved it, exited, and went back in. Yup. OpenOffice corrupted that template. After freaking out for about 20 minutes or so, I decided to hit ctrl+A followed by ctrl+c so that I could paste the doc's contents into GEdit. It turned out that in spite of the fact that the formatting was garbled in OpenOffice, the content was still intact, albeit not formatted.

Just to be sure, I fired up my XP VM to see if the doc opened up properly in Word. Alas, 'twas not so. It was just as garbled (if not more) in MS Word. So I went through the PAINSTAKING task of creating a new copy of the ungarbled template and pasting the content from GEdit into the right spots. Not an easy task when the data aren't really arranged in tabular format (the problem with GEdit being just a text editor). It took me an hour and a half to restore my document. I ended up going to bed really late because of this, but at least my review form was completed.

The moral of this story: OpenOffice SUCKS at editing Word docs in native .doc format. Next time, I will just fire up my VM and save myself the hassle.

Password-Retrieval Overkill?

Today I needed to top up my PC Phone Card to make a long-distance phone call. I don't have a long-distance plan since I don't really make long-distance calls, having a long-distance calling card is a good, inexpensive option. I've topped up the card a few times before, but it's been a while since I've last accessed my account. As a result, I could remember neither my username nor my password. Or rather, I thought I did, but apparently I don't. So I decided to use the site's Lost/forgot your password? link. As you can see from that link, you need to remember either the e-mail address hooked into the account AND your (PC) account password to retrieve your username, OR your e-mail address AND your username to retrieve your password.

I apparently know neither my username nor my password, so I guess I'm SOL. I know that requiring two pieces of information to retrieve your account information is done purely for security reasons, but seriously...this is overkill. Shouldn't knowing the e-mail address suffice? I guess they're preventing account information from going to the wrong e-mail address. But still. From where I'm sitting, this is FRUSTRATING!!!

I've got the info written down somewhere in an encrypted file on my computer at home (yes, I know the encryption key), so I guess I'll have to wait until I get home to do this. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh! So a 5-minute task winds up turning into a wasted 30 minutes of trying to guess my login credentials.

The RAM Lady

Today someone from tech support came to install RAM on my desktop at work. Let's call her the RAM Lady. This would give me a grand total of 2GB RAM on my machine. This is a bit sad on two levels. First, why, as a developer, did I *only* have 1GB on my machine to begin with. Secondly, while I am a technically a developer, I seem to be doing anything but, these days. Yes, I'm on a development team. Yes, I even write up tech specs and provide technical guidance. But I don't do any development. None. Nada. Zip. Nope, my team does configuration work on a vendor product, and the vendor does all the custom dev. Yup, we're configuration monkeys. Oh, the fun.

But that's not why I'm writing this post. I am writing this post because, although the RAM Lady DID come to my desk today to install that extra 1GB RAM and she DID actually physically install the RAM, the installation did not take. The funny thing is she waited for me to log back in to check the total amount of RAM. And when she checked the computer properties, she saw what appeared to be the right amount - ~2GB. Unfortunately, it was NOT the right amount. I had caught a glimpse of the properties screen and re-checked as she walked away. She had mistaken the processor speed (2.66 GHz) for the amount of RAM (a very sad 980MB).

I tried to catch her as she walked away, but alas, the RAM Lady was too fast. I have no idea where she could've gone so quickly. Maybe she has a site-to-site transporter? Or maybe I've been watching too many "Star Trek" re-runs. RAM Lady, RAM Lady, come back!!!

I Hate Smokers

As the title says, I hate smokers. Now, if you took up smoking say, when we didn't know that cigarettes were bad for you, then you're forgiven (somewhat). For the rest of you, you're a bunch of morons. Like seriously, were you not paying attention in health class? Do you have such low self-esteem that you have this urgent need to fit in, even if you're slowly killing yourself (and those around you)? Besides the fact that I cannot STAND cigarette smoke, one thing that totally pisses me off about it is the fact that smokers do not think that they litter when they throw their cigarette butts on the ground. What's so difficult about putting your butts into the garbage?

My husband is ADAMANT on this point. A couple of weeks ago, for example, he was filling up at a gas station, when he noticed a woman throw her cigarette butt on the ground. So he walked up to her and said, "Excuse me." The woman was on the phone and excused herself from the conversation, thinking that he was asking her for directions. And then he continued with, "I think you dropped this," as he picked up her newly-discarded cigarette butt from the ground and handed it over to her. Needless to say, the woman was NOT pleased. I think it was brilliant. These guys need to know that they can't just go around littering. Just because they smoke doesn't mean that their cigarette buts are exempted from being considered trash.

On Sunday, I was out for a walk with my husband and our one-year-old daughter. I needed to go to the bank so that I could get some cash. When we exited the building, we came face-to-face with a couple sitting outside the steps. The woman was smoking. As soon as she saw us, she moved her cigarette away, for the sake of the baby, I guess. I continued walking with the stroller. My husband, however, did not follow us. I then heard him saying, "Excuse me, you shouldn't be smoking here. The sign says that you're supposed to be 9 meters away from any entrance if you're going to smoke." The couple did NOT look impressed, but had no rebuttal, and just shrugged.

As my husband proceeded to walk away, I heard the guy (who wasn't smoking) say in a barely audible voice, "Asshole". Well, that's when my husband started lecturing him. And I also decided to chime in. The guy was really pissed, but he knew that his companion was totally wrong in smoking where she was smoking (she, by the way, said nothing). So he did the oh-so-mature thing of plugging his ears and going, "La-la-la-la-la". Very mature. This guy must have been in his late 50s or early 60s too. So that definitely made him look extra-mature. By this point, we had attracted a few on-lookers, but there was no point in sticking around. This was going nowhere. My husband had made his point. As we left, however, I managed to slip in, "Thanks for trying to kill my baby." I hope that strikes a nerve.

I know that the City of Toronto meant well with this whole initiative to make buildings smoke-free, but I really hate it how you can't be outside now without some dumb-ass smoker polluting my air and filling my lungs with second-degree smoke. I also hate it how we have these by-laws saying that you can't smoke within 9 meters of any building entrance, yet EVERYONE does it, and nobody is there to reprimand these bastards for breaking the bylaw. I also hate it how you can't even eat in a restaurant patio in Toronto anymore if you're a non-smoker, unless you want your lungs violated by cigarette smoke. What gives?

I wish that the City of Toronto would get this right for a change, and either ban outside smoking once and for all and/or fine people who are smoking outside in non-designated areas. Mayor Miller, is that so hard to do???

Another Reason Why I Hate Rogers

Have you ever tried finding ANYTHING on the Rogers site? Go ahead...try it. The site is so bloody unintuitive! I swear their site morphs from minute to minute so that you can never get to an item the same way twice. They must've had a gorilla design the site or something. Oh, wait - that would be an insult to a gorillas everywhere. It's probably some Waterloo grad...that did it.

At any rate, ROGERS, YOU SUCK BANANAS!!!

Phone-Loathing

I hate phones. I always have. With the exception of talking to family on the phone (hubby included), I try to avoid calling people at all costs. I think that it has gotten worse with age. After I finished university, I find that I am less apt to just call someone up on the phone for some mindless chit-chat.

Honestly, I've got so many things on the go these days, that I just don't have time to sit down and have a nice long chat on the phone with friends while I'm home. I'd rather meet up with friends for dinner or a coffee or something to chat in person than chat over the phone. When I'm home I just get annoyed when people call me, because I can think of a million other things I'd rather be doing than talking on the phone.

So yeah, I hate phones. Which is why it's so nice to be living in a world of text messages, instant messaging, and online communities.

If I want to talk to a friend, I can just log onto IM. I don't have to give him/her my undivided attention because more often than not, I'll be multi-tasking, and most likely, so will my friend. Awkward silences are a thing of the past, because if I take a long time to respond to a question, the other person will just assume that I got pulled away into something or other.

Text messaging is even better, because it's portable. People can reach me to ask a simple question, and I can reply via text message. It's on my phone, but I don't need to make a phone call to send a text message! Brilliant!

And finally, the online community. This is great for people with whom you want to keep in touch, but who aren't necessarily considered to be close friends. You can send them a "Hey, how's it going?" message on Facebook, and they'll reply a week later, and that's perfectly okay. At the same time, if they're active users, you get to see what they've been up to without actually having to engage them in mindless smalltalk. Win-win for everyone.

Ah, the life of an introvert!

Brain-Washed by Advertisement

On the most part I hate commercials, like most people. But what I hate even more are stupid annoying commercials with dorky little songs or jingles that are played over and over and over while a TV show is on.

This morning, my brain has been blasted with the Strawberry Mini-Wheats commercial, complete with its stupid song. I think that the only thing worse than that was when they aired commercials for Vanilla Mini-Wheats. I don't eat Mini-Wheats, and I will most certainly NEVER EVER EVER buy any incarnation of that product because of their stupid annoying commercials.

Another set of ads I can't stand are those stupid Premier Bathtubs commercials - you know, the special bathtubs for old people that have a little door on the side so they don't slip. Granted, the product is a good idea, but do they have to air it during every freaking commercial break on CBC NewsWorld in the morning? Between that and the fact that the CBC News in the morning spends WAY too much time on STUPID-ASS HOCKEY stories have made me not watch that show anymore. Bleh.

While we're on commercials and ads, why the hell is it that now news segments are named after corporate sponsors? Like the "Colgate Family Health" segment on Global News in the morning. We already see the stupid Colgate ads shortly after the segment airs in the morning. Do we really need to be reminded of that crap DURING the segment?

What about the fact that every building is named after a stupid corporate sponsor or rich benefactor? The Skydome is no longer the Skydome. Now it's the Rogers center. How dorky. What a dumb-ass name. So what if Rogers bought it. They've probably got Rogers ads plastered all over the inside anyway. We don't need to be reminded of that ALL THE FREAKING TIME. At one of the JCCs in Toronto, it seems that every corner of the building is named after some rich person. The building is named after one guy. The theater is named after another. The Jewish Day School is named after someone. The pool is named after someone, and, get this: the CHANGEROOMS are named after people. AHHHH!!!

The subway is just as bad. Sometimes an advertiser gets a bright idea of plastering an entire subway station with ads for something or other. Sometimes they go even as far as draping the outside of subway cars with stupid ads. Isn't it bad enough that sometimes all of the ads inside a subway car are for just ONE company?

I don't know about you, but this is total ad overload to me. It's a complete invasion of privacy in some ways, if you ask me. You can't even keep to yourself without walking into a place and being visually violated by ads. You can't even watch TV in peace without getting a stupid jingle stuck in your head. The sad thing is that even if you don't like the product(s) being advertised, this in-your-face tactic works. Can I recite the song in the Strawberry Mini-Wheats ad? You bet!

TPS Report Moment

Well, I just had a bit of TPS Report moment. On my old project, I left a few files checked out in ClearCase. Mind you, when I took a look at the files, it turns out that they were checked out unreserved, so as far as I'm concerned, no harm in that. Anyway, I was busy plugging away at some code and didn't notice an e-mail come in from my former team lead about said checked-out (albeit unreserved) files.

I guess I didn't reply back fast enough (she'd sent the e-mail 30 minutes earlier), so she came to my desk to see me about it. That was when I noticed that they were checked out unreserved. *shrugs* No biggie. But I guess it keeps her awake at night, so she had me reverse my checkouts, and that was that.

After she left my desk, I got a call from some ClearCase admin guy who I'd never heard of, bugging me about the same thing. Geez. When I said I'd do it, I meant it. In fact, I'd just finished reversing my checkouts, so no reason for him to be on my ass too. I politely explained that my former team lead had already spoken to me about this and that the issue was under control. He seemed to think that I had no idea how to use ClearCase. Granted, it's a piece of crap tool that's way too complicated for its own good, but that's another story for another time.

Anyway, case closed now, but holy cow are these people antsy!

Earth Hour - What a Crock!

Like any environmentally-conscious citizen, I was more than happy to join in for Earth Hour, which took place on March 29th, 2008 from 8 to 9pm. I think it's great to have initiatives like this, and kudos to all who made a genuine effort to participate. What I DID NOT like about Earth Hour is that it was turned into some big publicity stunt by municipal governments around the world, and by people who think it's cool to join a fad. Not cool at all.

Let's take the city of Toronto, for example. According to various news sources, the city's total power consumption dropped 8%. I'm really not too impressed by that figure.

First of all, unless you've got a damned good reason to keep your electricity running (nursing home, hospital, etc.), then shame on you for not participating.

Secondly, our wonderful mayor thought it would be cool to have an concert at Nathan Philips Square DURING Earth Hour. Well, I watched the concert footage on TV afterwards, and I was totally NOT impressed by the fact that the artists playing had (reduced) lighting and WORKING MICROPHONES!!! WTF? Maybe they live on a planet where amplifiers and microphones do not consume electricity. On my planet, however, they do. Shame on you, Nelly Furtado. What kind of ambassador are you???

Last, but not least, I'd like to comment on all of the drones who thought that by celebrating Earth Hour, they were saving the planet. Yes, part of the point of this whole thing was to promote awareness. Point taken. That being said, I think this event also attracted the same nimrods who think that planting a tree will justify gallivanting around the city in an SUV.

If you participated in Earth Hour and it changed the way you think about the planet, then good for you. I hope that this encourages you to live a greener lifestyle. There are so many little things you can do to live a greener life like:

1. Switch all bulbs in your house/apartment to compact fluorescent bulbs.
2. When buying new appliances, buy EnergyStar appliances.
3. Bring your own bags when going to the grocery store or when doing any type of shopping.
4. Walk to the supermarket if you can.
5. Take public transit to work if you can.
6. Recycle!
7. If you have a Green Bin, then compost as much as you can.
8. Install a thermostat to control the heating/cooling in your house.
9. Keep your house a few degrees cooler in the winter and use blankets to keep warm.
10. Don't turn on the A/C in the summer unless you really need to. There's nothing wrong with opening a window.
11. Switch to e-billing.
12. If you need to print something, print it on both sides of the paper.
13. Bring a re-usable coffee mug to your favorite coffee shop.
14. Bring your own lunch from home instead of buying every day - it's cheaper and wastes less packaging.
15. If you're bringing a lunch from home, use a re-usable lunchbag instead of a using a plastic bag or a paper bag.
16. Don't sit in an idling car.
17. Yet at people who sit in an idling car.
18. Plant a tree (just don't do it to make your guilt go away for abusing the planet).
19. Avoid taking plane trips - planes are one of the WORST polluters.
20. Turn your computer off when you're not using it. It won't kill you to have to boot it up every time you use it. If you're that hung up on boot time, then hibernate your computer.
21. Try to buy office stationary made of recycled paper.
22. By toilet paper, paper towels, and tissues made of recycled paper. If you're not into shopping at Grassroots or Whole Foods, then you can even find some of these products at your local Wal-Mart.
23. Use a silicone mat instead of parchment paper when baking.
24. Turn off your powerbars at home when you're not using them.
25. Turn off the lights in the rooms that you're not using.
26. Don't brush your teeth with the water running.

The list goes on and on...but notice how all these things are so SIMPLE to follow!

If you have any other green tips to add, please feel free to do so. I am always looking for ways to go green.