Recruiter WTF

I've been at my current job for a little over 2 years now, and it's gotten to the point where I've gone as far as I can go in a small company. So alas, I have taken the plunge and have begun The Job Hunt. Job-hunting these days is sure different from when my parents first entered the workforce. No Monster or Workopolis for them. Just some good 'ole networking and the Classifieds. Overall, I am definitely very grateful to have such fast resources for job-hunting. In IT especially, it looks like there are jobs coming out from every direction, and better still, a nice chunk of them are Java jobs. :D

Three weeks ago, I posted my resume on Workopolis. I was pleasantly surprised to have my inbox flooded with e-mails about job openings. Unfortunately for me, most of these e-mails were from recruiters. When I first started my job hunt this time around, I thought that recruiters were my panacea for the job hunt. After all, a recruiter helped me find my current position. Unfortunately, I've learned some nasty truths about recruiters in the last few weeks that I thought I'd share:

1. Recruiters are illiterate.
It's true - they can't read. If they could read, they wouldn't be trying to pawn stupid jobs on me that have nothing to do with my skills. Not only that, I even got an e-mail from a recruiter trying to place me in a position in Ottawa. What part of "I am looking for employment in Toronto" do you not get??? And while you're at it, how about reading my resume???

2. Recruiters are self-centered.
Early on in my job-hunt, I met with a recruiter so that he could get a feel for the type of job I wanted. During our conversation, he asked me about the structure in my present company. I mentioned that I work with project managers on my projects, but I don't report directly to them and that they don't have full control of their development resources. So he turns to me and says, "So you probably know what I'm going to ask you now, don't you?" Of course I had no clue. I'm not a frickin' mind-reader. So he turns to me and says, "I want to speak with your project managers. Give me some names." I made up some excuse saying that they were perfectly happy where they were and gave him no names. After our meeting, I never heard from him again.

3. Recruiters lie.
I've lost count of the number of recruiters who have contacted me at the office and have arranged to speak with me over the phone after work, and who just plain forgot to call. Today I got an e-mail from a recruiter who was supposed to have called me one week ago on Monday, and never did. Today he had the gall to say that he was just writing to touch base and to arrange a time to speak. I wrote back saying that we'd arranged a time to speak last week and that he never called me. He just replied as if there was nothing to it, giving me some lame-o excuse as to why he didn't call. How about sending an e-mail the next day explaining why you didn't call, jerkwad? Is that too much to ask?

4. Recruiters LOVE contractors.
Easy win for them. There are tons of contracting jobs out there, but most people want full-time jobs. Even after you tell them that you're not intereste in contract work, they still try to push that crap on you, and make you feel like an idiot for not wanting a contract job. Let me spell it out for you: I DON'T WANT CONTRACT WORK!!!

So no, I'm totally not impressed by these recruiters, and I sincerely hope that when I do find a job that tickles my fancy, it won't be through one of those idiots.